GONE IN SIXTY SECONDS...

nothing in life is for certain. anything you receive can be taken away from you within a matter of seconds. but its not always about what you lose, sometimes its what you gain in the process and most importantly what remains. i was told by a very close family friend we learn something new from everyone we meet, even if we never see them again. i couldnt agree more with her. i think of the people i just recently met and realized i learned a lot more from them than i had from people ive probably known my entire life. it saddens me to let go of potential friendships or relationships that i saw growing into something beautiful- but then it hits me, things happen for a reason. thats the way its always been and thats never going to change. no need to try and figure it out; the who's, the what's, the why's... just learn to deal. for every minute you choose to dwell on mistakes or mishaps, you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you'll never be able to get back.
NOWWW.... aint it crazy how we only pay attention to people or certain things for their image... the reputation they carry. we follow every move, every right and especially every wrong. we insinuate how good or how bad something/someone is, all the pros and cons by word of mouth. some of us dont even take time to research, we just go by hearsay. we read into things/people without even getting a chance to understand the story behind their image. when it comes to people, the ones we wish we were most like, the ones we "admire" or look up to, and the ones we envy or despise for no reason at all- we treat them like a dream instead of reality. we spend so much time talking about them, trying to be better than them or impress them... when really we dont even know their motive. the person you want to be most like might just be against everything you stand for. how do you know what theyre all about until you get a chance to sit down with them and ask for yourself? basically- dont let the opinion of someone else determine whether or not you take a chance. not every outcome is the exact same. you could miss out on something incredible.
like i stated in a previous blog, God made no deals when he was handing out life. you are the captain of your ship, you choose the direction you sail. some days you ride with the wind and some days it blows against you. no one said it was going to be a fair ride and not every situation is given complete justice. it is what it is, and like everything in life... IT too, can be gone in sixty seconds

That tricky four letter Word...

LOVE no scratch that LUST. that ugly tricky little 4-letter word that causes confusion, drama, happiness, and tears. i dont even know where to begin with my episode with it lately. an on and off relationship just ended, and im sad....but then i look ahead and think that maybe this is right for the both of us....no matter how much im missin us and the past. it seems that things were never going to be like they used to...and i dunno, maybe it is my fault...and ive known that for a minute but i dont think i could confess that to you...why? cause i know you will know that youve won. and i hate losing. i hate the fact that you cannot allow a friendship between us and that probably hurts me more than anything. i hope this isnt the end and somewhere in your heart, we can find the friendship that we never had from the beginning because we jumped right into a relationship....i like you dude...always had, and always will. but on to other things.......yes, concerning love. so theres this other person ive been talking to lately and hes like a year older, really cute and got some great things going for him...and honestly i would be a damn fool to pass him up. but im going to, why?? because hes already told me how much ive got him hooked and yaddayaddayadda...and mind you, we havent done ANYTHING yet...but he confesses and tells me how much hes liking me. and i dont feel the same way. i mean, i like him in the beginning, but i guess his heart moves faster than mine because now im just not that into him. it sucks cause i thought i really did, but ive learned from my mistakes in the past about acting upon bloated feelings. never doing that again! so yea....i think im going to stop talking to him before he gets too far ahead of himself. i feel bad, but its better this way right???

well...to conclude this....i think im just too independent for any guy at this moment. im tired of searching for someone to make me feel crazy about them, like i hear all these other people talk about their significant others and frankly, im starting to think that its all in their minds and theres no such thing. but then again, maybe there is and its just not time for me to experience it yet........